Pole Pole and Yesterday

Planning a Life Between Two Rhythms

We made a plan.
A real one.

One year to prepare our move.
One year to do it properly.
To avoid impulsive decisions.
To avoid repeating mistakes.

We even made a weekly schedule.

We are in week three.

And we are already behind.

Not because we are careless.
But because this plan is about France.

Exactly one year ago, we were preparing for Spain.

Boxes were mentally packed.
Documents were requested.
Dreams were mapped.

But we discovered something important:
We were not ready.

There was too much administrative uncertainty.
Too many unanswered questions.
And I did not yet know what my income would look like.

This time, things feel different.

I did the research.
I compared systems.
Asked questions.
Looked at what would be realistic for Chinonso.

France came out as the most practical choice.
The most possible.

So we made a timeline.

Until two weeks ago.

An email arrived from the Spanish lawyer.

Suddenly, Spain was not closed anymore.
Suddenly, there were new possibilities.

We wrote back immediately.
Explained our doubts.
Asked for clarity.

And now we wait.

This is where our difference becomes visible.

My Belgian instinct says:
If we emailed her two weeks ago, we should already have an answer.
Everything should have happened yesterday.

Waiting feels like losing time.
Like falling behind.
Like failing the plan.

Chinonso sees it differently.

“Give her another week,” he says.
“We will not make decisions without full information.”

He does not rush.

He practices something he calls pole pole —
slowly, slowly.

Not from laziness.
From steadiness.

Where I want movement,
he looks for certainty.

Where I feel pressure,
he feels timing.

We are building a future between climates.
But also between speeds.

Between yesterday
and patience.

Maybe this is part of what moving really means.

Not choosing a country first —
but learning how to choose together.

Perhaps readiness is not a destination —
but a rhythm we are still learning.